24 Comments

Well said, my friend! May our collective anger drive us all straight to the polls. I do not want to live in this distopia!

Expand full comment
author

💯

Expand full comment
Jul 26Liked by Sarah Southern

thank you for pointing out how transparently this whole thing leads directly to putting women in their place!

I didn't even realize the scheme was one extra vote per child. What a chilling image of a worldview that sees children as property.

Expand full comment

From one childless cat/dog lady to another: fuck yes, girl!! Thank you for your emboldened words and courageous story. The absurdity of his words is simply laughable.

Expand full comment
author

In rage + solidarity, friend <3

Expand full comment
Jul 26Liked by Sarah Southern

THIS. THIS. THIS.

I feel all of this through to my soul. The simultaneous emotions of both wanting (and not wanting) a pregnancy. The back and forth between being childless by choice, and then not so much, and then back again. And the blistering anger over his words. Thank you, Sarah, for putting this into words. I am too weary and broken to try.

Expand full comment
author

Lauren, thanks so much for your comment. I've never publicly posted about our infertility and all the complicated emotions attached to it. But I'm so grateful the words resonated. I'm so sorry you're feeling weary and broken. May you be met with hopeful glimmers today. We're in this together <3

Expand full comment

Yes yes yes. I resonate with this so much. (Especially those mixed emotions of "I both wanted a pregnancy and didn't." Thanks for naming that.)

Expand full comment

All of this. Thank you for writing this. I fully relate to the mixed emotions of being childless. I appreciated your sharing that so much. And yessss to the anger. I’m not one to usually get worked up over politics, but I’ve been madder than hell the last few days. Thank you for this. I’m glad to know I’m not alone.

Expand full comment

Love your words, Sarah. It’s so true that just because someone doesn’t have biological children doesn’t mean they don’t care about or have a stake in the future of the country. You are valuable and your voice needs to be heard!

Expand full comment

Thank you for this. You speak for me and so many others. And I love your L’Engle reference ♥️

Expand full comment
Jul 27Liked by Sarah Southern

My heart aches about this. At a couple years past 40 I’m childless but technically old enough to be a grandmother(!), as the peers of my two favorite kids in the world (18 & 22; my friend’s daughter and son) are quickly marrying and having their own children. Every day my heart aches for these two due to influences they’re given that worry me. Having one more person say, now, that I should have less ability to speak up for them - just because I’m an older sister/auntie, not a mom - completely breaks my heart. Thank you for writing this piece; it helps to have words to share that ring so true.

Expand full comment

Grateful for you sticking your neck out on this Sarah. Ironies abound, but my favorite is I know *quite a few* conservative republican "cat ladies" 😐

Expand full comment
author

Goodness, yes. Let's hope he's managed to piss off some of those conservative republican cat ladies as well ;)

Expand full comment
Jul 26Liked by Sarah Southern

Quoting A Wrinkle in Time was the perfect icing on that angry cake. Loved it!

Expand full comment
author

I think we need election season t-shirts that say, "You will need all your anger now."

Expand full comment

Anger at the state of the country in general.

Expand full comment
Jul 26Liked by Sarah Southern

We walked a similar journey as you describe (until one day, after 6+ years and without warning, we got pregnant). I know well the frustration of fielding comments from people who’ve decided you’ve been childless long enough. I share your disgust at JDV’s comments.

Expand full comment
author

I think infertility/delayed pregnancy is something a lot of people experience but don't talk about much (at least not publicly). I rejoiced so much when I first heard you and Ivey were expecting, while realizing that there are undoubtedly multitudinous emotions associated with such unexpected news <3. There's so much to our stories that's not apparent on the surface and it's so aggravating anytime someone with a platform negates and generalizes our complicated realities.

Expand full comment

Beautifully shared! Thank you for writing this and encouraging us all to we need your voice today. I have two unmarried daughters who contribute so much to this world and it sickens me that someone like JD Vance can slur them with his ugly words.

Expand full comment

Thank you for putting words to my (our) anger. His words, and the mentality of so many, are just plain… cruel.

Expand full comment

Well said. I think that anger makes sense. And thank you for vulnerably sharing your story. I might have four kids now, but through the years I've definitely experienced a lot of the tension of feelings you've experienced.

Expand full comment

At 71 I think back to my childless state and think that it is a gift. I didn’t always think that but I do now. Everything I became was because I was childless. I wouldn’t have traveled so much; nor would I wrestled an crocodile, become a blacksmith , nor would I have became a ship captain and bought my fishing boat to live aboard,or an artist. I think of my days now living with the wilderness of so many things. Even now as I grab my oxygen tank to walk my land with all my dogs. And at 65 I would not have finally found an amazing partner.

Expand full comment